


in the flush of love’s light

by glitteratiglue



Category: Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, First Love, First Time, Pre-Canon, Romance, Virginity, let's roll with the heteronormative tropes for this one shall we, this may be the soapiest thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:56:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23486392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteratiglue/pseuds/glitteratiglue
Summary: “I don’t know why, but I was thinking about Betazed,” Will said out of nowhere. “Our first time together. Do you remember?”
Relationships: William Riker/Deanna Troi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 80





	in the flush of love’s light

**Author's Note:**

> The world is scary as fuck right now and this fic was like the equivalent of a comfort blanket. I normally don't really headcanon Deanna as a virgin when she meets Will (sorry, Peter David), but the idea of him knowing she's a virgin and wanting to give her the best first time he can? SO SWEET. I had to.

**2360**

Will never forgot the first time he made Deanna come with his mouth: the soft, mewling sounds she made; the way she clutched at his hair; her eyes, wide, almost astonished at how good it felt. Afterwards, she admitted, her face tinged with a blush, that it was the first time someone else had given her an orgasm, much less touched her.

Before, when he pressed her thighs apart, laid kisses on trembling skin as he made his way upwards, she’d been visibly nervous. He’d assumed it was just a touch of self-consciousness, the shyness of being with a new lover. He felt like a complete idiot for never even considering the possibility.

“I wish you’d said,” he told her, kissing her softly where he still tasted of her. “I would have taken it slower.”

They'd only been dating a couple of weeks, but Will had figured that was more than enough time. More time than he usually took to get to this part, actually, but he could sense Deanna was different. She thrived on intellectual interplay as much as its physical counterpart; he saw that well enough.

“I didn’t want you to laugh at me,” Deanna said. In the low light, it was hard to see her blushes, but when he moved to kiss her cheek, her face burned with embarrassment.

“Why would I?” Will put his arm around her, resisting her attempts to wriggle away from him. “Hey. Look at me, Deanna.” She did, reluctantly. “It’s okay. Listen; I _loved_ making you come like that. I’m lucky I got to to be the first one to share that with you. Was it okay for you?”

“It was amazing,” Deanna admitted. She felt ridiculous but figured she owed it to him to be truthful, at least. It made her want to blush just thinking about it.

“Thank you for telling me now, anyway,” he said, his pride at the compliment showing on his face. “I might have tried to take things further, and that’s not something you want to do without thinking it through first.”

“I thought you couldn’t wait to fuck me,” Deanna said, reminding him of what he'd said earlier. It seemed she’d recovered her usual impulse to poke fun at him.

“Are you going to hold me to everything I say when you’re naked?” Will smiled and drew her closer, so his face was pressed into her neck. “And, no. Of course I can wait. We don’t have to. It’s kind of a big thing; I want you to be sure.”

“Humans have a strange concept of sexuality,” Deanna observed, pulling his arm around her. “On this world, the joining of minds between lovers is considered much more intimate than any trivialities of sex could be.”

“Then why haven’t you, if it’s so trivial?” Will shot back. He softened his voice. “I don’t mean it like that. It just never crossed my mind, to be honest. You’re so —” he gestured to her “— stunning. I would have thought you’d be fighting them off.”

“I suppose anyone I ever had the chance with thought they knew everything I wanted. That I’d be an easy challenge.” Deanna pressed her palm to his chest, her fingers weaving between the soft hair there. “You’re different. You didn’t know me already. You wanted to find out.”

Will smiled at her, pleased. “I mean, even on my world it’s kind of an archaic thing,” he said, waving a hand. “The concept of a woman ‘losing’ something. The idea of virginity is patriarchal and pretty narrow — if we’re just talking about sticking it in, that is. There’s a lot more to sex than that.” He grinned, unable to stop himself imagining when he might be able to show her just how much more there was to it.

Deanna laughed. “What a charming description, Will. Truly.” She reached for his face and kissed him, very slow and sweet. “I do want to try it, sometime, I think,” she said against his lips. “But…could you do that again?”

“God, yeah,” Will said without hesitation, his voice rough. His hand trailed down her body, between her breasts, finding where he’d already made her so wet.

Deanna’s breath hitched. His touch raised fire on her skin in a way she’d never felt before.

“I want to make you feel good, too,” she told Will earnestly. “Will you show me?”

He laughed. “I think it’ll take about two seconds.” His eyes gleamed with heated intent. “Yes, I’ll show you. But later. I’m gonna be a while here.” He reached back, arranging the pillows, and bore Deanna down to the sheets with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Relax.”

When she eventually told him she was ready, Will tried to make sure everything was perfect for her. There were crisp new sheets on his Starfleet bed and he’d surrounded it with an absurd amount of candles.

He was as sweet and considerate as she’d hoped he’d be. He kept asking her if she was sure, right up until the point he kissed her, first on her mouth, then all over her body. Will had made a study of Deanna over time, his quick mind committing to memory all the parts of her that ached for his touch. He seemed enraptured by any noises he could draw from her, from breathy gasps to the louder moans she made when he traced a particularly sensitive spot with his lips. The curve of her shoulder. The dip just beneath her collarbone. The backs of her knees. The highest point on the inside of her thigh, where the skin thinned enough that he could feel the tendon beneath.

By the time he kissed her open, spread his large hands out on her hips to hold her there while he teased her towards an orgasm, Deanna was entirely undone. When she started to come, he slipped his fingers inside her, and she could hardly catch her breath from the strange and wonderful sensation of fullness. She wanted to know how it would feel when it was more than just those gentle fingers opening her.

“Please, Will,” she urged. She was still recovering from her climax, making these tiny gasps that turned him on almost to the point of it being painful. “I want to feel you.”

“Are you alright?” Will asked softly as he withdrew his fingers and reached for the lube he had ready. Slowly, he ran a slicked-up hand over himself, then her, and she smiled at the way his eyes narrowed with arousal. She could feel his excitement, coupled with anxiety — how much he wanted her, how afraid he was of hurting her. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

“Imzadi,” Deanna told him, reaching down to cover his free hand with hers. They’d been using that Betazoid term for weeks, but to hear it sent a thrill through him every time. He was her beloved and she was his, and that felt better than anything he’d ever imagined. “You won’t hurt me. I want it; please.”

Will tugged her knees apart, slid his hands beneath them. There was a jolt in his mind and then he felt her there, a glowing thread of light that felt like Deanna: the silken warmth of her, her kindness and love for him. Then, beneath it, darker, red-tinged threads; all her desire, limitless, something he’d been the only one to stoke within her. Pride burned fierce in his chest as her openness and trust filled his mind. She wanted everything of him he had to give, and would give as much in return.

He still had no idea what kind of dumb luck had led him to such a gift as the love of Deanna Troi.

“I really want this to be good for you, Deanna,” he told her seriously, leaning in to place a kiss between her breasts. “I love you, and I’m so happy you wanted it to be me.”

She felt the thrill that went through him at saying that to her — words she knew he’d never truly meant with anybody else — and had to blink back tears. Deanna felt foolish, even as he was kissing her cheek. She traced the powerful muscles of his upper arms, inviting him closer as her thighs fell open.

 _It’s already perfect, Will._ Then she pushed further into his mind. He felt it: the way she was still pulsing inside from the aftershocks of her climax, how wet she was for him.

 _You’re amazing,_ he casted at her, with no small amount of effort. She’d been teaching him how to read her for some months now, but, like training a muscle he’d never used before, it wasn’t easy. For her, it was worth every frustration.

“I hope I can last,” Will said, feeling ridiculous.

Deanna grinned at him coyly. “I can take care of that,” she said. He’d unpack the implications of that, if it wasn’t for her delicate fingers, curling around his cock and wiping out all other thought in his head. She let go of him, her hips shifting down the bed. “So…are you going to —?” 

“Yeah,” Will told her, breathless enough from wanting her that he wasn’t sure he could get any more words out.

He kissed her deeply, his fingers splayed out over her jaw; a distraction from the blunt pressure as he started to push inside.

Deanna pressed her hands into his back, unable to stop the soft “Ah,” that slipped out. Will winced visibly; he could feel all of it through the bridge between their minds. He paused.

 _More,_ she told him silently.

“You good?” Will asked, shaking as he pushed in a little further. He stroked his hands over her upper arms. His blue eyes were soft with concern on hers, though his pupils were blown with the desire she could feel entwining with her own.

Deanna nodded, hugged him closer to her, trying to breathe through the dull ache. Beneath it, there was heat, and the sheer joy of feeling Will so completely, _inside her_ in a way she’d never known. She had nothing to compare it to, but already she wanted more of it, anything he would give her.

_More._

Her lips were parted, her eyes open and bright with wonder, and he understood right then she was too overwhelmed to speak out loud. He kissed her again, and then her thighs were drawing up his sides as she took him all the way in, without warning.

“God, the way you feel, Deanna, imzadi — you feel that?” Again, Will felt the pressure of her mind on his: the strangest, most enthralling sensation he’d ever felt.

“Yes,” was Deanna’s reply as she found her voice again. “It feels really good being inside me, doesn’t it?” She was smiling now. 

“Yeah — I love you,” he told her sincerely. “You’re so beautiful. I love you. And I’m so happy you wanted it to be me.”

“I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else,” Deanna said. She rocked her hips against him, experimentally, and felt a twinge of pleasure as her body eased around him.

“Is it feeling okay for you?” she asked nervously as he started to move, very slowly. “I’ve never done this before, so…”

Will laughed softly, not breaking his rhythm. “Hell, yeah,” he said. He was surprised when he felt her hands wander lower, trying to pull him deeper into her. “It’s great. Are you okay?”

_Better than that. Here, feel._

He did: it was like nothing he’d ever imagined, the fine wisps of Deanna’s need tangled up with his own, until he hardly knew where her mind ended and his began. He didn’t care which it was.

Words were unnecessary for a while after that. They moved together, letting out heavy breaths against each other’s mouths that were sometimes kisses and often not. Will drew his head back, needing to see her, and saw a tear slip from the corner of her eye.

“Hey, hey,” he whispered, his thumb instantly brushing it away. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

Deanna dropped her gaze. “Please don’t laugh at me.”

“Of course I won’t.” His smile was kind as he kissed away the tear of shame that followed. “Look — it happens. Sex can be a really emotional thing, sometimes.” His mouth found hers once again, and her nails dug into his back as she kept moving with his rhythm, her breaths coming quick and fast.

She broke away from his mouth to ask: “Have you ever cried while having sex?”

“Well — no,” he admitted through a shaky breath as she tilted her hips, taking him deeper. “But I don’t care if you do. It’s sweet.”

 _It’s so much better like this_ , she sent, and he matched her angle, smiling at the confidence she was gaining with every minute that passed.

“Let me touch you,” he suggested, and she nodded in assent as he slipped his hand between them. “I really want you to come again.”

“Is that good?” he asked as he began to trace slow circles around her clit, the way he remembered from all the times he’d made her come with his touch. “Oh my God, it is; I can feel it.” Delight split his face into a smile; he couldn’t get over being able to share this with her. “I can feel it like I’m you.”

A laugh escaped her. “How does it feel?” she asked.

Simultaneously, inside his head: _A little faster, please. Touch me harder, Will. It feels so good._

“It feels fucking great," he told her roughly.

It thrilled her to know she had that much of an effect on him.

Deanna tilted her chin up to kiss him again, and he stroked her hair, complied with her requests until she was making these desperate little sounds that almost broke him. Will slowed his pace. He was so overtaken by her mind entangled with his — the doubling of the pleasure — that it took great effort to hold himself back. Deanna sensed it and smiled up at him.

 _It’s okay._ “You don't have to hold back," she said.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Usually I can go for a while — seriously. But I’ve never been in someone’s mind before. It’s…distracting. In a good way.”

“It doesn’t usually feel like this when you link telepathically,” Deanna admitted, her voice unsteady when his fingers pressed down on her clit, hard. “These kind of connections usually take years to develop. But I think the physical part is enhancing it.”

“So I’m special, huh?” Will said, his breath catching at the end of the sentence as he felt her nails raking down his lower back to rest on his ass, urging him on.

“Don’t push it,” she told him, and he laughed. He cupped his free hand around her jaw and brought his mouth back to hers; a mercy, really.

Deanna pulled him closer, both physically and with her mental abilities, until Will was wrapped around her like a second skin, both in body and in in mind. He lost himself in her gladly, gave her everything he was as he allowed her to shape his desire, make it her own as they spiralled closer to release.

When she started to come, he slowed himself down. He kept his fingers moving between them while she clutched at his arms, crying out, “ _Will_ ,” her head thrown back, overcome with everything he was drawing out of her. He felt every part of her shattering in his mind while her body was shaking beneath him. Will couldn’t tear his eyes away — awed by how beautiful she was, how good she felt — and in moments, he was barely holding on.

As she came down from the high, he reached his own release: a shock of heat inside her, the most intimate thing she’d ever felt. His thoughts freely wandered into her mind, unfiltered: _imzadi, I love you, you feel amazing, I’m coming, Oh my God —_ and she took them all, kept them close as if they were her own. He buried his face in her shoulder, pressed his groans into damp skin. Deanna stayed right there with him in his mind, her palms flat on his shoulder blades as she held him through it.

There were new tears brimming in her dark eyes when he lifted his head to meet her gaze, but she was smiling. Elated.

Will’s eyes were blurring and he realised the emotional overload from Deanna had sent his tear ducts going, too. At least, that was how he rationalised it to himself.

Deanna was visibly touched. _I love you, imzadi_ , she sent.

This time, it wasn’t at all difficult for him to cast. He barely had to think it before the words were right there in her mind: _I love you, too. I really do._

Will couldn’t stop trembling, his cheeks wet with tears from the experience of completely sharing her need and pleasure. It felt raw; her powerful empathic impressions giving way to genuine feeling beneath. Something inside him had shifted. He loved Deanna Troi utterly and completely: he’d never been so sure of anything in his life. The thought stripped him to his core, and for the first time in his life, he wasn't afraid of it.

Her black eyes were soft with understanding, and he knew that she felt it, too.

Deanna was patient with him. She kept him close and stroked her hands through his hair until he stopped shivering. He could feel how she loved the weight of him on top of her, the way his much larger frame could envelop her body. It was a good thing, really — Will didn’t think he was capable of moving right then.

“Sex can be an emotional experience, you know,” she said, teasing. He laughed, entirely chagrined as he kissed her again, two sets of tears mingling where their faces pressed together. “If it makes you feel better, I know some other Betazoids who’ve been with humans. You aren’t the first one to cry faced with sharing another person’s emotions.”

“You being in my head like that,” Will said, once he finally managed to get a grip on himself. “I didn’t know how it would feel. It’s never been that way for me, ever.”

“Me neither,” she said. “Not that I’d know.”

He withdrew from her very carefully and settled onto his side. “Was it everything you thought?” he asked. His face was thoughtful, but a hint of insecurity lingered beneath the words.

Deanna’s grin was dazzling, and he felt it as much as he saw it.

Will had to reach for her, take her in his arms. He brushed her sweaty hair from her shoulder so he could kiss her neck.

“Better,” she told him.

**2399**

“I don’t know why, but I was thinking about Betazed,” he said out of nowhere. “Our first time together. Do you remember?”

They were sitting on the edge of the bed, drinking the coffee Will had brought upstairs. Sunlight was pouring through the many windows of their bedroom and they were alone. Kestra was out roaming the woods, making the most of the day before lessons started.

“Of course I do,” Deanna said. She extended herself into his mind, letting him feel how she treasured the memory. “You made it so special, Will.”

“It was special for me, too. Being your first.” He kissed the top of her head. “Thinking back, I was just as overwhelmed as you. I was so nervous; I couldn’t believe I was dating a girl like you, much less that you were going to sleep with me.”

She smiled with gentle amusement. “If I remember rightly, that was the first time I ever saw you cry.”

“And certainly not the last,” Will said. He returned the smile, and she pressed a hand to his cheek for a moment. “I think I’m becoming soft in my old age.”

“We were so different, weren’t we, back then,” she mused. She set down her cup and crossed the room until she was standing beside the fireplace.

Their wedding portrait was there on the mantelpiece, along with a family photo of the four of them; the last one ever taken. But it was the third picture that drew her eye: a glimpse of another version of themselves, almost forty years ago and lost to time.

A sweet moment in the El-Nar meadow, captured by Chandra, Will’s arm around her. The pair of them can’t be more than twenty-five. His eyes are fixed on her, shining with the light of first love. She is laughing — it was rare back then, but he brought out that side of her from the beginning. They are so young. They know nothing of the heartbreak to come, the lifelong friendship they’ll create from its ashes. They know nothing of the dreams they’ll fulfil, the family they’ll make, the losses they’ll experience. They are hopeful.

Will stood, came to her side. “I’m still hopeful, imzadi,” he told her, picking the stray thought from her mind with the ease of long marriage to an empath. “And I know you are, too.”

They were still learning to accept the presence of grief in their lives, but it went hand in hand with joy at every turn.

“Always,” Deanna affirmed. Her dark eyes narrowed with focus. He could sense her reaching out with her mind, finding the little sunbeam that was Kestra. Her tone turned mischievous: “You know, Kestra’s all the way up at the brook. We’ve got at least half an hour.”

Will grinned. For a moment, he looked just like that young, cocky lieutenant who couldn’t believe his luck that a daughter of the Fifth House was interested in him.

“Think I can still overwhelm you, imzadi?” His hands were on her hips and within him, she felt the kindling of that same desire they’d always shared.

“You can try,” she teased, already leading him back to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> In the flush of love's light  
> we dare be brave.  
> \- from 'Touched By An Angel', Maya Angelou


End file.
